What I am writing about when I am writing

Save the best for the last, I spent the last moment of the previous Sunday at Borders. It's a place I would go after meeting up all my friends. It's a place I would go when I need silence and some inspiration.

Books are expensive stuff to me.

More often than not, I find it so difficult to fork out money to buy myself books. I could only sit by places like MPH and Borders and grab some books and read there. Like a bee buzzing around its honeycomb, I found myself looking at one book after another.

It was not like window shopping. In my heart, I was looking for something, almost like I couldn't stop until I found that something that I was unconsciously looking for. To be honest, I didn't even know what I was looking for. There was just a strong desire to find something.

And then I found it.

"What I talk about when I talk about running" by Haruki Murakami.

I read the first few pages and I knew I could not resist buying it. Surprisingly, there was something familiar in the book. The style, it reminds me of myself. The story, it reminds me of a narration of myself. The run, the marathon, the metaphor - they were all too familiar. The speed and the need for solitude seem as much in my veins as they are in his.

In the run, he's already a regular while I'm still kick-starting. In my life, I have written quite a bit, I cannot help wondering when will the day come when I could write a rainbow out of my keyboard. When I could write food into famine? When could I write comfort into pain? When I could write an inspiration instead of a story. Not that I want to be a novelist...

... all I want is to be able to write, ship it out and don't expect its return.